Adolf on Vladimir

What would be the musings and thoughts of Adolf Hitler if he woke up in present day Berlin, thinking he had just awaken from another night in the furherbunker in 1945?

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Timur Vermes gives this premise a shot in his novel “Look who’s back“, and a very intriguing one it is I must add. Though he still has his obviously ill and distorted world views, he also very astutely addresses the present day incompetencies, bureaucratic annoyances and inefficiencies that come with modern democratic politics in a way only an outsider with dictatorial urges can do. This leads to hilarious observations, such as this little gem here:

Him on a politician’s obligations to engage in sports of any kind:

“[…] And as for appearing in swimming trunks – well, that is the most preposterous thing imaginable. You couldn’t dissuade Mussolini from doing it. And more recently that suspect Russian leader has been doing it too. An interesting fellow, no question, but as far as I am concerned it is a foregone conclusion: the moment a politician removes his shirt, his policies are dead in the water. All he will say is, “Look, my dear fellow countrymen, I have made the most extraordinary discovery: my policies look better without a shirt on.” What sort of nonsensical proposition is that?”

and so he continues his musings:

“I have even read that a German war minister was lately photographed with a wench in a swimming pool. While his troops were in the field, or at least preparing for deployment. Had I been in charge, this would have been the gentleman’s last day in office. I wouldn’t have bothered with a letter of resignation – you lay a pistol on his desk, a bullet in the chamber, you leave the room, and if the blackguard has an ounce of decency he knows what he has to do. And if not, the following morning the bullet’s in his brain, and he’s face down in the pool. Then everyone else in the ministry knows what to expect if you stab your troops in the back while wearing swimming trunks. No, bathing larks were out of the question as far as I was concerned.”

All in all a witty and entertaining novel, I am not surprised the book made it onto the movie screens.

On finding love 2.0

Let me start off by stating that I am a terrible pick up artist. Really. An example: recently, at a party somewhere far away, I decide that it might be a good occasion to experience the joys of being single again. There was no one whom I really knew for thousands of kilometers, so one could argue that I should not care about screwing up. But that is obviously not how it works. Walk around a bit. Beer in hand, my palms are sweatty […knees weak, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on my sweater already, mom’s spaghetti – oh wait, this is the Eminem in me speaking. Where was I? Oh right.] After a couple of beers I gather my courage, walk up to this girl and ask: “Are you Dutch?”

Well, what d’ya know: a slightly off-topic comic.

Really Bojk?! Is that the best you could come up with? Of the million funny/cool/nice/random/so-awkward-that-it’s-funny-again things to say, you choose this? You moron! Her boyfriend arriving at the scene moments later did not particularly make me feel less of a moron either. Besides this, she was not Dutch and an encounter with a fellow compatriot was actually the last thing I was looking for in the first place. What was I thinking, if at all?! Got out of there asap and another beer later I was pointing and laughing at myself in solitude. At this moment, a different girl walks up to me, gives me a witty, teasing stare and says: “What brings you here, blue eyes?” And I remember thinking: Now that’s how you do this Bojk!* Continue reading “On finding love 2.0”

Big Apple Kunst

Mijn dank gaat uit naar SPQA voor de twee posts van vandaag, ondanks een kleine overlap in het lezerspublicum kan ik het niet laten om enerzijds de artistieke kant van de NYT, en anderzijds – als rasechte Nederbelg – een Vlaamse blik op de politieke gebeurtenissen van afgelopen week tentoon te spreiden.

Christoph Niemann maakt kunstprojecten die o.a. in The New Yorker, de NYT Magazine en op zijn weblog verschijnen. Zijn nieuwste creatie heet My Way, waar hij aan de haal gaat met de anders zo ordelijke wereld van TomTom.

 

Vooruit dan maar met die chives. Bron.

 

Van zijn hele reeks kunstprojecten behoort creatief met lego wat mij betreft tot de toppers:

 

Een Poolse vlag, wilt u daar wasabi bij? Bron.